So it just hit me that I'm gonna be 18.

I don't want to.

I want to be a kid. Like, forever. I don't want to be a grown-up or do grown-up things like dishes and bills and buying groceries and commuting. I'd rather roll in the grass and splash in puddles and read books and trade pokemon. I wish getting dirty could still mean getting coated in mud, and that sleeping around meant having sleepovers at a lot of friends houses. I wish clouds could be made of cotton candy and fairies still wrote me letters.

Ahhhhh. Why did I watch Peter Pan. 


I guess when you're a kid, everything is new, and new things are interesting like magic. You believe stuff people tell you because you don't know otherwise. Now that I'm older, I know. Things aren't so new anymore, so I guess they're not so magic. Why? I see new things all the time, I just don't notice them because 'I know otherwise; there's no magic.' Well.....................................

Why am i growing up. Stupid Wendy. If I were her, I'd stay the fuck in Neverland with that charming, cocky Peter Pan and fly around on my fairy dust pirate ship. Though I probably wouldn't have fed Captain Hook to the crocodile. I'd just make him take baths all the time.

up to my ears in busy.

would love a break.
kthxbai.

For Lent,

I will be giving up hating.
I will not hate anyone, or anything.
I will not judge anyone for what they look like or what they say.
Anddddd.
I will not think/talk trash about anybody.
For 40. whole. days.

(Although, this should probably be a complete life change. Still... it's fun to bitch sometimes. oh well.)

There's a first time for everything (but not really) 2.5: Vanity

I said I had alligator pictures, and I do, but I look horrible in all of them so none are getting posted.

Ha-ha.

This is why i want children one day.

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. You might have to click it to read it, sorry!

What is love?

The obvious answer is, "baby don't hurt me/ don't hurt me/ no more"

But really, today (which is oddly enough Valentine's Day- ironic... or not so ironic), I don't know and I'm stuck.

This is dumb.

There's a first time for everything 2: Alligators.

Today, I picked up an alligator.
It's not as awesome as it sounds. I intern at a museum and help take care of animals. And it was a juvenile.

Still.
An alligator. There actually IS a picture to show for this!~ Someone else took it, so I'm waiting for him to email it to me. I lied and said it was for my mom cause she won't believe me when i tell her. But... nah, i just wanted it to post here and gloat.

Honestly, I don't think I would have done it without this blog thing.
This is making me so much braver, and now I'm thinking of all the new things I should try. Maybe now is when I finally start coming out of my shell and getting some self-confidence.

Thanks for inspiring me, blog world. :)

I just found my little sister's youtube channel.

I don't know what to think. I'm mostly amused, hahaha. I don't think my parents really know about it. She just posts her little horsey videos that have pictures of her riding horses or whatever to her current favorite song and lots of curly subtitles and exclamation points.

LOL.
12 year olds. #kidsthesedays

Why shopping at the mall sucks.

1. Because everything cute is really expensive.

2. Because everything's really cute.

3. Because everything I see is for people under size 6 or over size 12. No 8's! Gah.

4. Because I'm not into the feathers trend.

5. Because every store's sizes run differently.

6. Because people usually walk really, really slow.

7. Because you feel inferior in your sweatpants to all the people wearing all these cute clothes (are they even real?- they look like they're in magazines)

8. Because I'm having a fat day.

9. Because it's sooo easy to lose track of how much you're spending.

10. Because that shirt I had to have last time that was like 40 bucks is now on the clearance rack for 10. FML

But other than that, I loveeeee shopping malls and shopping with my mom today was awesome <3

I guess I'll tell you what happened on new years.

This was supposed to post forever ago, like January 2, but for some reason it didn't. Here's what happened when I was whining about being shot down and things not working between us.

"Basically, all the friends I told about this have all said that Colin loves me more than he loves Kelsey, and that his relationship with Kelsey is purely superficial and he started dating her to bide his time waiting for me. (Because I was too scared to date him... it's complicated.) they said yes, he might like her, but he loves me. Eventually I started to believe them.

Well guess what friends?

Finally I talked to him, like they were all pressuring me to (not that I blame them of course, it had to be done). Anddddd...we got it backwards.
turns out I was the dick toy.

At first I was indifferent, then I was heartbroken, next I was cool, then I was mad, and then I was scheming to get him back, and now, I'm probably in denial. I think it's stages of grief and loss or whatever all backwards.

Blog friends, you're gonna love/hate this because it means most of you were right all along.jkHe called off our college agreement reluctantly because he said she and him were kind of serious (I doubt she'd say the same if I asked her. She's an airhead who will hit you if you even say the word "sex"). But then he added, kind of as an afterthought which might have been intended as comfort, "But, you know, if something were to happen between us, I wouldn't regret it."
I asked him to clarify because otherwise I'd be wondering about a loose end for months again.
And he said, "Well hahaha if we got drunk and had sex, you know, i wouldn't regret it."

So you'd cheat on Kelsey for me, but only if you're....drunk. Cool, thanks bro.

So blog friends, here's my problem.
I FOR SOME REASON DO NOT BELIEVE ANY OF THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
I mean, of course I believe it happened.
I just can't believe it.
Some part of me is saying, "ohh, he's just lying through his teeth." "he can't cheat on Kelsey and tell you he likes you." "He was just joking about the drunk sex thing." "It was his confused little way of trying to comfort me." Or something.

I think things are getting a little out of hand for me mentally.
Falling in love makes you crazy, friends. Watch your step and don't trip."

Things are different, now, and we're all good, but I can't believe I didn't tell you this.

Now, I'm over it. Thank GOD. I'm over it, I'm over him. Wait, you can't hear me, you say? Well, then, a little louder...

I'M OVER HIM! :D

Update on spandex stuff: FML! i forgot to take pictures. buttt... I will be unfortunately stuck in it again. Spandex shorts and underarmour top... ah well.

And for good measure, happy groundhog day!! (it is groundhog day, right? ahhh)

There's a first time for everything 1: Spandex

I've decided to start a new posting series in which I will do something I've never done before and get photographic evidence of me doing that thing.

Today is the first time for wearing spandex *hangs head in shame*. Unfortunately we have to wear skin-tight uniforms for winter drum line, so guess what we have to wear under them... And guess what we have to wear to practice tonight for our first fittings.....

FML.
Pictures later.